I can’t find my favourite coat. It’s a navy blue duffle coat with wooden togs and I wear it all the time, or at least I did before I lost it. I’ve asked around my family and friends but no one has seen it. And so, as a last resort, I text my ex.
“Hi, did I by any chance leave a navy duffle coat at your house? Cant find it anywhere! Hope things are good with you x”
An hour later he texts back: “Oh hello. I know the coat you mean, but it isn’t here. I hope things are good with you too! x”
But I want to know more. I want to know how his new job is going and if he ever managed to pass his degree (after failing it twice). I want to know if his annoying housemate ever moved out and I want to tell him some of the things about my holiday that I’d been looking forward to sharing when I was away, but then never did because he dumped me right out of the blue. I don’t want the the last time we ever see each other to be when he was driving in circles around the centre of Birmingham and I was in the passenger seat in tears because my airport transfer was set to leave in less than two minutes and we couldn’t find the bus stop because he refused to use the bloody satnav.
So I text back: “Ahh that’s too bad, I think it’s lost :( I have a couple of your books and a t-shirt that I can drop round next time I’m in Bristol if you like?”
To which he replies: “No it’s ok, take them to a charity shop if you don’t want them. Take care x”
I hate that phrase “take care”. It always sounds so much more final than “goodbye”. It’s what people always say when they know they’re never going to see you again.
And now I feel unexpectedly very sad. Not because I think we made a good couple, because we most definitely did not. I feel sad because we never got to say a proper goodbye. My sister thinks that it’s a bad idea and that if I saw him again we’d just end up sleeping together or arguing, or both. She’s probably right. But even so, I find it hard to accept that always when a relationship ends there’s never a chance to say all of the things you really want to say.
Like, I actually never cheated on you.
And, I think you need therapy for your jealousy issues.
And, do you KNOW how many times I paid for dinner?
Even so, I should probably stop sleeping in his old t-shirt.
Fish Seeks Bicycle 
Are you sad because you never had a proper good bye or is it because HE doesn’t care as much about it as you do?
Like, if it was the other way around, would you even care that there was no proper good bye?
Also, Love your blog. You’re as cute as a button.
I’m pretty sure I’m sad because we ended on bad terms and it came out of the blue. After ten months together it’s pretty crappy to dump someone over the phone, even if the relationship was a mental health hazard for both of us. If I’m doing the dumping, I tend to do it with a few kind words and a hug. Once I even bought the guy a coffee, which was a mistake because then he took forever to drink it after I’d already said I wanted to break up… talk about awkward. Glad you like my blog!
That totally makes sense. Over the phone is pretty brutal but it beats an email…or a facebook message.
Haha ya, coffee takes too much time. Next time, break up with someone over a shot of espresso.